Today we went to the Perinatologist for another ultrasound, just to monitor the baby's growth because of the GD. Things looked good; her organs are developed nicely, everything is perfusing well, and the tech advised me to buy hair barrettes, because she's got hair!
On the down side...Hadley is really tiny. She's only four pounds, nine ounces, and her abdomen is only in the 10th percentile for growth for her age. The rest of her is in the 20th percentile, which is okay, I guess. The Doctor - who I really trust to tell me if it were a serious problem - didn't seem terribly worried, citing that some babies are just small and that's how it is, and they're perfectly fine after.
Still, I can't help but feel guilty. I didn't eat a lot, and I still don't eat much because I'm scared of my blood sugars getting too high and causing her complications. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist tomorrow to discuss how things are going, and we're going to have to figure out a plan for me to gain weight so she can gain weight.
I was doing okay with this; Matt is not concerned at all and my Mom reminded me that I was a tiny bean as well and I was a very healthy baby. At one point I felt a lot better, and told Matt "Well, maybe God just wants her to be an Olympic gymnast so she needs to be petite. That certainly would explain all the gymnastics currently going on."
The mistake I made was looking up "low birth weight" on the Internet. WHAT WAS I THINKING. I often scold people for looking up medical things on the internet; I remind them that the Internet is not a licensed professional and will gladly report to you every drastic, critical, and devastating thing that can go on. By the time I'd finished reading the March of Dimes website, I was in tears. Very, very, bad idea.
So, while I know that she's probably going to be just fine - only two weeks to go and she'll be considered "full term" anyway - I've been praying about it and if anyone else remembers to drop God a line, I would gladly appreciate it. I count myself lucky that this is the worst of my problems, compared to what other people have dealt with, but this is my blog, I can cry about whatever I want.
At least now we get a little more mileage out of all those 0-3 months clothes, right?
3 comments:
I so completely understand what you are going through! My two boys were both little. Little Carson is still little. He's barely gaining what he should be and I am eating a ton! Like non-stop. We were told at probably 35-36 weeks that Carson was measuring really little and I worried a ton and felt guilty because I never really ate. I didn't have an appetite. And then when his whole belirubin crap happened I looked up stuff on the internet (same with Sophie's one kidney) and had myself convinved both times that my kids have terminal conditions. Remember our hormones are OUT OF CONTROL. I so feel for you right now and am nearly falling asleep typing this knowing that its clarity is slipping so I'm going to be done. DONE. But we love you and your little bean and will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Sincerely. Not cliche.
Just remember, one day at a time. Trust your doctor, I am sure he has delivered thousands of babies, many that were small. We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Look on the bright side, this gives you mom and Mary an excuse to go buy preemie clothes! If she is little, ain't no way girlfriend is fittin in 0-3 month clothes! Ask Amy, they will be huge!
This is Lisa, typing under Rachael's account, just so you know...
First off, make sure you are well stocked on preemie clothes. (I jsut read Rach's comment and see she covered that all ready, oh well). Easton wore those for quite some time. He was pretty tiny...not so much anymore. Trenton on the other hand, was freakin huge (9lbs.9oz.) Now he's a freakin' rail. Seriously when he was a baby he went from one extreme end of the growth chart to completely dropping off the other end, no joke. I was freaked out for a while, but my doctor assured me he was fine. Which he is. We will most definately be praying for you and little baby bean. Oh, and on the whole internet thing...I had myself convinced I had Ovarian cancer. Just not a good place to seek medical information, always gives you extreme cases. Anywhore, I love you and I am beyond excited for you and your fam. God Bless
P.S. I too had a birthday, FYI
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