My friend lost her baby today.
I hate using that phrase, but the truth is ugly and hard to say. She was my pregnancy buddy; we were only two weeks apart and she was one of the people I could turn to when I needed to whine about my misery. She struggled from the beginning with this baby, but that doesn't mean she wanted it any less; I think she wanted hers more than anyone else. I wish that love and affection and determination could keep a baby alive. It hurts my heart that their best case scenario was Down's Syndrome. I feel a little vacancy in losing this bond with her, and I feel a certain sort of melancholy guilt nestled in right beside my healthy baby.
I want to cry, but I can't. I just feel more alone instead.
2 comments:
I don't know what to say. I am sorry for your friend, and I am sorry for you. I know what it is like to be your friend. I lost a baby at 12 weeks between Colton and Aubrey. My sister-in-law was pregnant at the time. For awhile it was hard to be around her, and every time I was, I would think about how far along I would have been. I have also been the one who's baby was fine. It is such a mixture of sadness and gratitude. It is a hard place to be in, for you and her. I wish you all the best and will keep you both in my prayers. Remember what a blessing you have. You are an awesome person, so I know that you will know what to do to help your friend through this tough time.
I too have been in your friends position. I had a pregnancy buddy and it was pretty hard to watch as her belly grew and mine did not. I hated that term too..."I lost the baby." I would say it and then feel so much to blame, like I alone had done something wrong. But this I do know, we "need" the support of our friends...of our girlfriends. We need to laugh and for that I know your friend is in good hands.
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